As the holidays draw nearer there has been a lot of talk with my friends and family about gift giving. I've found that we all have different opinions about gift giving, whether it be the amount of gifts, the type of gift or the meaning behind it. These discussions have got me thinking about the variety of ways people show love and receive love. There are actually five love languages and gift giving is one of them. Have you heard of the five languages of love? By understanding these different love languages, you will better understand how your family, friends or partner receives love and how they give it and are able to better explain how you give and receive affection as well, ultimately improving those relationships. This holiday season this will translate to less stress around family and more love. And don't we all want more love :)
The Five Love Languages:
Words of Affirmation - Words like "I love you," "You look beautiful," "You did a great job," mean a lot to people whose love language is words. Perhaps send a little note in their lunchbox or remember to compliment them on a job well done, perhaps with the christmas cookies or decorations.
Physical Touch - Do you know someone that wraps themselves around you as soon as they see you? I know a few! Their language of love is definitely physical touch. Be sure to give them a big hug when you see them or are saying goodbye, or a hand on the back when passing by at a holiday party to let them know you are thinking about them.
Receiving Gifts - Flowers anyone? What a great simple way to say I care for you for these people. Perhaps your partner is always bringing home a small token after a trip. This shows they are thinking of you in their own way. The gift giving time is a highlight over the holidays for them. They have probably put a lot of thought into what they got you!
Quality Time - Does your grandfather or father love to be in the room with you but not have much to say? Does your partner want you to go to bed with them even though you aren't tired? They appreciate quality time, in any form. For these people, undistracted quality time is appreciated, whether it be a nice lunch to catch up, making dinner together or watching your favourite show together. Why not go for a nice long walk with family over the holidays with those you love to show you care.
Acts of Service - Just helping with the dishes does really go a long way for some people who language of love is acts of service. Do you know someone who is always helping out in the kitchen, or making you cookies, or making sure your car is clean? Return the favour for them and they will know you care.
What is your love language?
You can even take a quiz online to learn what your dominant love language is. Before taking the quiz, I assumed mine was acts of service but I was wrong. Instead my primary love language is quality time, followed by physical touch - which I now completely understand as the holidays for me are a lot about spending quality time with my family!
What is yours? How can you incorporate that into this holiday season? Let me know in the comments below.
Happy Holidays!
Dr. Karen